Dark Days

Protecting children is a chief duty of parents. Children are young and impressionable and easily led into activities they will later regret if they lack the judgment and oversight of parents or other concerned adults. Such was the case for Tony and me just a short time after my dad passed away.

My family had gone through a tremendous upheaval with the loss of my father. In spite of his obvious shortcomings he was the glue that held our family together. His strength was quickly missed. His absence brought an unusual amount of stress to my mother. Raising two boys, ages eight and eleven, by herself began to seem like an insurmountable ordeal.

Her concern was largely rooted in the fact that we had no money. Dad’s passing had left our family without income and no support system. My dad owned a ¾ ton truck he used in his business. Mom had hoped to sell it to pay some bills and buy food but a family member swindled my mother out of it. She did not realize until sometime later what they had done to her.

Mom married my dad when she was only 15 and he was 17. They welcomed my oldest brother, Alton, into the world just one year and 10 days later. Mom had always been a “stay at home mom” raising her children that would eventually add up to four with my arrival. She had no clue how to even go out and find a job. But she gathered her reserve of inner strength, which she was loaded with, and found a job waiting tables. Somehow she managed to make enough money to make ends meet.

A few days after dad’s funeral mom took Tony and me to some friends of the family to spend a couple of nights and then a few days later took us to another family’s house. Each of these families had teen aged sons that sexually abused me. A few months later mom left us with a female babysitter that was sixteen years old and she continued the pattern the teen boys had started. This kind of thing happened several times over the next two years. The scars and woundedness that came from that period of my life created some difficult situations for me later. But one of the positive outcomes from the abuse was that I purposed in my heart to be a person who would work to protect children from abusers. This resolve may have been a major factor in my pursuing a career in working with children and youth.

Mom worked long hours at her jobs and wanted to relieve some stress at night so she would hang out at some of the local clubs drinking more than she should and dancing her cares away. In her absence Tony and I began to get into some trouble. We never had a run in with the law but we were breaking things and doing many things we knew were beyond the nature of good character.

We were amused that the ironing board was similar in shape to a surf board. We practiced some of the moves we learned from surfing movies of the day. We went through two “boards” before mom found out what was going on and the gig was up…for surf boards.

We found out you can actually break melmac (unbreakable) dishes. We played for hours throwing them at each other…in the house. By the end of two weeks nearly every dish in the house had been broken by the two apes that lived with my mom.

Tony took up knife throwing. He did not need a fancy set of knives. He used the cheap set of steak knives in our flatware drawer; the kind with plastic handles. He chose me as a target. I would stand facing him against the kitchen door and he would pace off his steps walking away from me. Then, suddenly he would turn facing me and hurl a knife at me. He repeated his throws over and over until he had thrown all six of the knives. Each one would land just on the outside of my body. He never threw for the lower area of my body. He liked to keep things around the head and shoulders. He said it was more exciting that way.

Tony was very good. I’m sure he secretly desired to be center ring in a circus act. He carried on with this ritual for weeks until the kitchen door was riddled with little holes.  Mom told us to stop but we didn’t…that was until one day Tony got a little too close and actually stuck me in the arm. That was the first time I realized I could actually get hurt in the performance. Despite all his pleas for his assistant to stay on I resigned. And I’ve never allowed anyone else to throw a knife at me.

One of our favorite pastimes was on the roof of a home we were renting. I would get on the main structure and Tony would ascend the separate garage. We would tear off the shingles and hurl them like Frisbees at each other. We did this for several days until most of the home’s protection was gone. Then it dawned on us that if it rained we were in serious trouble. Good thing it was a dry summer and we moved before the landlord found out what we had done.

Tony had procured a bb gun from somewhere and again decided I would make a good target. He had me descend over a small rise in the earth and wait for his signal. When he would call out I was to raise my head up completely and duck back down in hopes of avoiding being shot. I must have been pretty good because I got hit in the face less than ten times.

A few times we took that same bb gun and used it to shoot out windows and streetlights. Things were beginning to get out of hand and these two boys needed someone to give us some guidance and a strong hand.

About two years after my dad’s death (I was 10 and Tony was 13) my mom came home from a bar and told us about a man she had met there a few times. She excitedly announced that she was going to bring him home to meet us. But Tony and I were less than impressed. We had met a number of guys she had brought home and we thought all of them should be wrapped in a burlap bag and thrown in a creek. We were sure this one was no different even though she protested our doubts pointing out all his superior qualities.

The day of our meeting arrived and she was over at his apartment getting ready to bring him to meet us. Tony and I were being typical boys with no supervision. We were chasing each other through the house when Tony sprained his ankle on the edge of the bed as he was jumping over it. Tony was lying on the bed writhing in pain. His ankle was twice its normal size. I didn’t know what to do. He was crying real tears. That was something Tony didn’t normally do.

Suddenly the door to the house came open and mom and James (Big Jim) Downs came walking in. Immediately Big Jim sprung into action. He asked me what happened. I told him and he asked for ice. I got some from an ice tray in the freezer and wrapped it in a hand towel. I took it to the big man standing over my brother. He gently put it on my brother’s throbbing ankle and assured him everything would be okay. Standing there in the doorway I was impressed with how nice this man was; what kindness and gentle words he used. The thought crossed my mind, “This man is here to rescue us.” And he did.

Jim Downs was 6’ 2” and 200 pounds of muscle. He had just gotten out of a 10 year stent in the United States Navy where he served as an electrician and spent much of his time boxing. In high school, he had played as a lineman for the Cleburne Yellow Jackets.

This big man had been previously married and had three children. His wife had gotten pregnant with the last two while he was out to sea. He forgave her for the first one but couldn’t take it a second time so he divorced her.

When he met my mom it was love at first sight. She told him right away that she had two sons at home but he liked children and wanted to meet us. But there was a more serious problem that Jim became aware of. Mom had developed a drinking problem. He encouraged her to find help and supported her as she worked through her challenges.

After a short time he asked her to marry him. She jumped at the opportunity to get married to such a noble man. She figured she was not going to come by another man of any worth who would be willing to take on two wild young men like ourselves. But he was and she agreed to marry him.

What she did not know was that Big Jim had lied to her. He had told her he was 39…one year younger than she was. In actuality, he was 11 years younger than she was. Jim was only 29. That young man who had just been betrayed by his own wife was willing to give up his new found freedom and marry a woman with two rowdy sons because they needed him. He was, indeed, noble.

He quickly became my hero and I fell in love with Big Jim. He gave us the strong hand, guidance, and love we desperately needed and longed for. Our family was complete again. My mom had a new husband and Tony and I once again had a father.